I’ve been under the weather and mentally exhausted. It’s been awhile since I’ve actually written a post. In my writing absence, I’ve been re-blogging posts from some really inspirational bloggers that I follow. It helps to view situations through someone else’s eyes. I haven’t been completely M.I.A. If you follow me on Twitter @SplendourBySD, you can see more great posts from myself and my network.
I was hesitant to write this post because of how personal it is, but I remembered the reason I started writing in the first place and the purpose of blog; to share my every day battles. In my last written post I gave a snapshot of my week and vented about my day job and a few health concerns. Now I’d like to share a full dialogue.
About two weeks ago I mentioned that I contracted the stomach bug. The very next week I developed a full body rash. Naturally, I made an immediate appointment at my clinic. The Nurse Practitioner could not offer an explanation as to why or where the rash came from. There were a few theories; something contracted from the gym or sauna, a food allergy, lotion, soap or perfumes? She recommended keeping it dry, cool and to monitor whether or not it’s getting better or worse. The rash exists on my arms, hands and lower legs. Since I know that I haven’t used anything new or different in my everyday routine, I turned to my online doctor; Google. After ruling out that I had an incurable disease I connected it to “dry weather skin”. Not sure if it’s true or not, but I’ve been treating the areas twice a day with coconut oil. It seems to slowly, but surely get better. I can see a change in my hands and arms. It’s worse on my legs so I haven’t been able to see results yet. I’ll keep at it and hope to see a change soon.
Another issue I’ve been dealing with is a complication with my current birth control method. Again, something that the Nurse Practitioner could not explain. Side effects to the pill have caused me to have a visit from my “friend” for going on three weeks now. You can imagine the inconvenience its causing. What’s concerning to me is that I have been on the same method for an extensive amount of time and have never had any previous issues. The nurse offered that women’s bodies change and react differently to contraception as they get older (everything starts to go downhill after 30 I guess). The clinic has administered a few tests and exams and I have more coming up. Hopefully they can find a cause soon, but I’m almost positive I’ll have to stop use of the pill.
This weekend has been especially hard on my family. My father lost a very close friend who battled lung cancer for a long time. She was such a great person. I remember her when we were stationed overseas in Germany. I loved being around her.
Saturday we were informed that my Great Aunt went to the ER for some pain she was having. It was concerning because she displays the early signs of Dementia. The news we received was horrible. They found cancer, but it was spread throughout so many organs that they can’t tell where it started. They give her 2-10 days to live. The last time I saw her was Christmas of 2015. It took her awhile to know who I was. After about 20 mins she looks at me and says “OMG you’ve grown up so much!” It was the sweetest thing ever. She is such a Saint. Her husband (my Great Uncle) has had dementia for quite some time. He stopped talking about 5 years ago. She never left his side until now. It makes me worried about him not seeing her there anymore. He can’t speak, but I know in his mind he recognizes that she’s gone.
My day job has calmed down significantly, but every now and then we’ll find something that wasn’t completed by my former co-worker. It’s still busy, but at a steady, manageable pace.
A friend and I have been flirting with the idea of going into consulting together. Holistic Health and Life Balance. It’s in the very beginning stages of creation. We’re currently doing research and figuring out how to bring our skill sets together, what it would look like etc. I’m extremely excited about this opportunity. With great planning we will soon have something come into fruition.
I’m still continuing classes to receive my PMP and further my Event Management licensing areas. Both are self-paced so I have some wiggle room for when I can complete them. My struggle is setting and keeping my own completion date. I often prioritize other things ahead of my studies. It’s a weakness that I recognize and am working on.
Throughout all of the health concerns, personal struggles and family news, I continue to count my blessings. Overall my friends and family are healthy and striving to do better, I’ve been connecting with inspirational women that are great influences in my new venture and I’ve taken on a volunteer marketing and fundraising role for a local football team. I can still be a source of inspiration to the people around me despite what I’m dealing with.
Even with the struggles, I prioritize finding time to do things that make me smile. I finally colored my hair this weekend. It’s been a long mental process, but I went with a blue/black color. The color is black while I’m indoors and blue outside in the sun. I love it, it’s perfect.
Yesterday, my husband decided that he was going to take me out of the house and drive around different Minneapolis neighborhoods. He recognized that I had been feeling down and exhausted. We went to Lake Calhoun and it was absolutely beautiful, especially with the newly fallen snow! It looked like diamonds. The water was cold, but it didn’t stop me from splashing around in my snow boots.
Sometimes it’s hard to see the beauty in things around us when so much is going on in our minds and bodies. Eventually the worry has to cease. We have to find balance in our lives to keep going. We often fall and want to wallow in self pity and yes, we have the right to do that. We need time to just say “this sucks” to ourselves. It’s healthy to recognize when things are going wrong, but it’s important to not let them consume us.
I often fall victim in my own mind where I let my thoughts, worries and fears consume me. Eventually it gets exhausting and I have to move on and let the positive shine brighter than the negative.
Remember to not fuel or give life to those negative thoughts and feelings. Things will always go wrong in life, but it’s how we handle them that makes us stronger.
Thanks for stopping by! xoxo